Celebrate often

A practice of noticing

I’m a grumpy old man. I don’t like celebrations. Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, I don’t look forward to them and avoid them whenever I can.

I don’t like that they are the norm, often empty of meaning, and culturally obligatory. 

The numbers don’t mean anything to me either. The 50th edition, anniversary, or commemoration. So what? It’s arbitrary to me plus it discounts the fact that number 49 and number 51 are just as important. What do I care if it’s a round number?

As I said. Grumpy.

What we notice

I do think celebrating is important though, just not in the standard way. Professionally, when a client reaches a milestone, overcomes a challenge or makes a strong decision for example. As a coach I take care to highlight those things that are worth celebrating. Big and small.

I’m always training myself to look for inherent, personal, and underemphasized strengths to pull out of a story, bring to the forefront and ‘celebrate’. This helps my clients pause and reflect on them, thereby cementing them a little deeper in their minds (helping them grow).

In my personal life though, this has been a bigger struggle. What’s easy to spot in other people’s lives, in my own, seems like a different story. I have biases, blindspots, and convictions that are difficult to bypass sometimes.

On top of that we (humans) are not built to look for the positives. We look for errors, mistakes, and things that can improve. Our survival depends (or depended) on it. If our ancestors had been celebrating all day, basking in gratitude, we probably wouldn't be here (because they would have been eaten).

At its best, celebrating is about noticing, owning, and incorporating something in your life that is worthwhile to remember or bring with you.

For example, this is my 45th consecutive newsletter. It’s worthwhile (for me) to sit with that for a moment. 

It’s very easy to, once I’ve published, either stop thinking about it altogether, or to start thinking about the next one right away. Never taking a moment to stop and reflect on the energy and effort that I put into it. Unpacking how and why I did this is valuable.

Letting it sink in will reinforce my resolve. Passing it by will not. And it’s a missed opportunity.

Practice

Taking a moment to appreciate how far we’ve come, as often as we can, is something I’ve been trying to incorporate as a practice for years. Things like meditation help but it doesn’t come naturally to me. 

It’s also about finding new ways to notice (take note) of the things we do routinely or without thinking. ‘Note the rut’ so to speak, because very probably those unconscious actions are compounding to something, although they might not feel so special in the moment or maybe they aren’t felt at all.

For me different ways of journaling have helped over the years. Even simply writing down and tracking habits makes me stop and think about (vs. rushing past) them.

I love how a friend of mine does it. At certain times, at the start or the end of a project (or another event that sparks it), she specifically takes time and energy to plan and design a fitting way to celebrate. This can be going for a walk in nature contemplating the specific occasion, making a drawing, or treating herself to that specific latte at a coffee shop she loves.

Ordinary

Celebration is an active state, an act of expressing reverence or appreciation…Celebration is a confrontation, giving attention to the transcendent meaning of one's actions. ― Abraham Joshua Heschel

Celebrating is noticing (during or after the fact) and consolidating it into our system.

I no longer think of celebrations as arbitrary dates and even numbers but as something more significant. And yet ordinary. A practice of capturing moments that might not feel so important in the moment.

Taking a moment to appreciate what has happened, really acknowledging it, owning it, and taking it into our future.

And what do you know, I already feel less grumpy.