How to stop being invisible

Lessons from an overlooked profession

He was world-famous.

At least in our neighborhood.

Not just for delivering our daily mail, but for delivering something far more valuable: genuine connection.

Our friendly neighborhood postman wasn’t just another face in our daily routines. He had a rare ability to make everyone feel seen and appreciated. Whether it was the tone of his greetings or the thoughtfulness of his questions, he left a lasting impact.

In a profession where most people wouldn’t know your name, we all did. And when he moved away, the whole neighborhood felt his absence.

It wasn’t until years later that I understood the real lesson he had been teaching: there’s a big difference between merely interacting and truly connecting.

Underneath the surface

Most of us don’t realize how much our everyday interactions fall short. We talk, we exchange pleasantries, but too often, we stop there. When our communication stays at the surface, so do our relationships, leading to missed connections and missed opportunities.

Meaningful connection isn’t a mystery—it’s a skill. Looking back, I realized that my postman had been showing me this, even though it took me years to grasp the full impact.

Even if our jobs aren’t to deliver the post, we still have countless opportunities each day to create meaningful connections with the people around us. This could be a passing conversation with a team member, a casual check-in with your child's teacher, or a shared moment in line at your local store.

So often, we miss those opportunities, not because we don’t care, but because we don’t realize the impact that a real connection can have.

Real impact

Many of us think that simply interacting with others is enough. But as I learned over time, interaction isn’t the same as connecting. True communication is, as the word implies, communal.

We talk, but we don’t always listen. We greet people, but we don’t make them feel heard.

I’m not just about politeness; it’s about creating a moment of genuine human connection, one that can leave a lasting impression.

Weak communication leads to weak relationships—whether at work, at home, or anywhere in between. And the truth is, most people struggle with this, even if they’re not aware of it.

I know this because I used to be one of those people.

Becoming a people person

In my working life, I’ve held various customer-facing jobs in retail and customer service and I always thought that simply answering questions and assisting customers was enough. I didn’t see these roles as part of any real career, so I did the bare minimum, thinking they were just temporary stepping stones.

It wasn’t until later that I understood how much I had been missing.

All of my interactions were transactional and lacked depth. I gave generic responses, missing people’s specific needs and failing to understand their situations. I wasn’t listening attentively, which made me miss out on meaningful connections with both colleagues and customers.

I was also invisible. I wasn’t standing out because I wasn’t making any visible effort to truly connect.

The turning point came when I started learning real communication skills, ones that went beyond surface-level exchanges—skills I now teach.

Instead of giving generic responses, I began to listen and offer tailored solutions. This shift led to more engaging conversations, allowing me to understand individual customer challenges better. The conversations were also way more fun because people were actually sharing more with me.

As I developed my communication skills, I was assigned more interesting projects and became known for handling ‘complex issues’ (read: stuff with people) that others overlooked or couldn’t handle.

Much like the postman who had left a lasting impression on our neighborhood, I (unexpectedly) became known for my people skills.

I went from being just another employee to someone who made a noticeable impact, and it all started with learning how to listen and connect on a deeper level.

Out of the shadows

‘Your legacy is every life you’ve touched.’ — Maya Angelou

Imagine if we all developed the skills to connect like my former postman or invested in our communication as I (eventually…) did.

It wouldn’t only enhance our work lives, it would help us overcome being ‘invisible’ in all of our relationships.

Strong relationships and effective communication make us visible and valued. By genuinely engaging with others, we contribute positively to other people’s lives. This helps us move from being overlooked to being recognized and appreciated.

As Maya Angelou implies: every interaction is an opportunity to make a difference and to be seen for who you really are. Whether you're leading a team, assisting a client, or spending time with a family member, communication skills help you connect on a deeper level, enriching both your life and the lives of those around you.

Each conversation is a chance to create meaningful connections and make an impact. By approaching every interaction with intention, you positively touch other people’s lives and become noticed and valued in the process.

By developing these skills you’ll ensure that, like the postman, your presence is felt and remembered long after you're gone.