The superpower you didn’t know you have

Why recognizing strengths increases your value

It’s not always easy to see our own strengths. Let alone know how to leverage them.

When I was struggling to make my morning routine more consistent, my coach asked me 'You live by a strong set of principles, how can you leverage those to make these habits stick?'

I realized that I had been viewing my 'rules for life' as mere quotes on the wall, instead of practical tools to reinforce my desired lifestyle. By aligning my daily tasks with my core beliefs, I could finally create lasting habits.

Her question paved the way for a new way of thinking about harnessing my strengths strategically.

I couldn’t have gotten there alone. I needed someone else to show me.

Positive psychology

If you’re a ‘conversational professional’ like me, and you work with your clients or customers in 1:1 sessions, workshops, groups, or online classrooms, it’s essential to learn to spot (and name) strengths in others.

Because the better you’re able to support your clients in their development, the more valuable you are to them.

This is where the power of strengths-spotting comes in.

I first encountered Positive Psychology during my coach training, and to be honest, the term initially reminded me of those overly optimistic people with fake smiles who say things like ‘just stay positive’ and ‘look for the silver lining’.

But luckily, it turned out to be a legitimate branch of psychology, focusing on optimal functioning, improving quality of life, and most importantly, strengths.

Positive psychologists believe that there are some strong upsides to working on and expanding your strengths.

Compared to highlighting weaknesses, focusing on strengths is more efficient and effective and it yields improvements quicker. The chances of making changes sustainable are higher too because people feel more fulfilled when using their natural talents.

Being able to point out strengths in others, like my coach did for me, is a superpower that everyone has but few ever actually use.

Building your strength-spotting muscle

To increase your focus on strengths and help others recognize them, here are a couple of steps to get you going:

Step 1) Familiarize

A good entry point for delving deeper into strengths is to familiarize yourself with some strengths vocabulary. Some examples:

• Integrity

• Perseverance

• Curiosity

• Adaptability

• Resilience

You see how people could have some of these going for them? Maybe you even have some yourself. Simply reading through a couple of lists of strengths (like this one and this one) will help to get your mind attuned to the various ways people can excel, making it easier to spot and articulate them.

To get your strength juices flowing even more, connect these traits to people in your life. This will help you internalize the vocabulary with real-life examples. I don’t consider myself to be high in ‘adaptability’ for example, but my dad definitely is. 

Don’t feel like you have to use these exact words though, this isn’t a test of memorization. These lists are meant for inspiration.

People’s strengths show up in all types of creative ways. Richard Branson talks about his ‘adventure spirit’ and attributes it to his mother. Eric Schmidt, former CEO of Google, frequently praised co-founder Larry Page's approach to innovation and called it ‘10X thinking’. I personally like to think of myself as a ‘dot-connector’.

Step 2) Exercise

If you feel you’re ready and you’d like to level up, find a friend to do the following exercise with.

Ask them, ‘How was your weekend?’

When they tell you, instead of listening to their story blankly, specifically listen for strengths and write them down.

You can use some of these guiding questions to further identify their strengths (and again, feel free to make some up):

• What positive traits or abilities stood out in their story?

• How did they describe their approach to activities or challenges?

• What did they seem particularly excited about? Where was the energy?

• What behaviors or actions seemed to come naturally to them?

• What happened (during the weekend) that was of their own doing or inclination?

You’ll be surprised how many strengths will show up if you simply listen for them, especially if you’ve primed your mind with some vocabulary in step 1.

Step 3) Discuss

When they’re done, have a conversation with them about their strengths.

Share your observations and check what they think about them. Do they agree? Were you totally off base? If so, what would they call them?

It’s not important whether you hit the mark or not. As long as you’re unconditional about it (more on that here), they’ll get the opportunity to reflect on their strengths and gain valuable insights.

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Recognizing strengths in others is a superpower that makes you more valuable, especially when providing professional support. Helping people see, discover, or rediscover the strengths they often overlook is how you flex that superpower.