A team of two

Coaching for life

I’m probably going to sound a little defensive here, but I need to talk about this.

I recently heard a renowned wellness coach say that coaches should only be hired for short amounts of time. Good coaches, she argued, teach their clients what they need quickly so they can move on and go out into the world by themselves.

I can’t express how thoroughly, deeply, and infuriatingly I disagree.

But I’ll try.

My coaching

So why am I getting so worked up about this?

Probably because I only coach clients for longer periods of time. And I don’t host any sprints, bootcamps, or weekend intensives that promise quick transformation, breakthrough, or mastery.

I mean, I won’t hold you hostage if your needs change, but my intention is an indefinite contract, continuous support, and a relationship that strengthens and deepens over time.

If personal growth is important to you now, it will probably keep being important to you in the future. And having a coach by your side to consistently support your long-term growth will too.

I’m not denying that short-term, pin-pointed, and time-bound engagements can be helpful or appropriate, but calling these ‘the sign of a good coach’ is obviously uninformed.

If you don’t believe me, ask my clients. Continuous coaching means continuous growth.

Coaching complements

Now that I’ve calmed down a bit, I will cut her some slack. Coaching is a confusing term and there are probably as many views on ‘what a good coach is’ as there are coaches.

One reason for this might be the unprotected name. Everybody can call themselves a coach so the name is easily misinterpreted and diluted.

But more importantly, ‘the act of coaching’ almost never occurs in isolation. Coaching is a powerful complement to practices like teaching, mentoring, and even consulting.

Complementary but distinctly different.

Teachers provide their students with knowledge or skills, mentors share their accumulated insight and experience with their mentee, and consultants advise their clients and solve specific problems.

In pure coaching, there’s no expertise involved (except for the client’s). A coach draws out the client’s insights, facilitates self-discovery, and channels the client’s strengths.

It’s the best way to foster personal growth, that’s why it’s so useful as a complementary skill to other services.

Additionally the coaching attitude is best suited to moving beyond the superficial ‘issue of the day’ and finding out what’s going on underneath. Over time deeper themes will reveal themselves and working on those is where things really start to become life-changing.

But this process needs time.

Coaching compounds

A coach and their client are essentially a team of two that are working on behalf of one, the client. World-class teams need time to get to know each other, form a bond, and build trust. This is true for the client-coach relationship.

The higher our trust the more opportunities I have as a coach to take bigger risks and call out more uncomfortable blindspots, which helps my client grow exponentially.

With every session the rapport grows stronger, the trust builds, and the coach has more information and a clearer picture to ‘work with’.

This can be incredibly powerful, especially if you work together over a span of years.

Many important improvements are not so easily measurable. While some smaller metrics can be measured, the bigger themes like confidence, self-worth, and self-efficacy, can only be felt and experienced over a meaningful period of time.

We often dedicate whole sessions to taking stock, looking at how far someone has come, and consolidating it. Looking back at the incredible progress that one has made is a powerful tool for self-confidence.

Working with a client of mine that I’ve been coaching for two and a half years now, I recently recalled and touched on something he said in one of our very first sessions. The contrast between where he had been and where he was now was jaw-dropping. And it hit home.

Could we have achieved this level of growth in a 6-week sprint?

I think not.