Hey Rik, this was actually a very useful summary of definitions -
"Teachers provide their students with knowledge or skills, mentors share their accumulated insight and experience with their mentee, and consultants advise their clients and solve specific problems"
As someone who operates in the realm of helping others I've always had confusion about how to describe my form of help, and even with the above, still do.
But there is one category missing from the list, which is therapist. And in many ways the way you describe your coaching approach it sounds akin to therapy, or a therapeutic modality. Curious about your thoughts on this.
I do think that the best therapists are the ones that are familiar with coaching, and the best coaches are the ones familiar with therapy. There's a big overlap, but there's also a big part of therapy that coaches aren't equipped for. A modality such as IFS though, is one that is made for both.
Yes - Rik’s writing advice from a 5-min breakout session was incredibly therapeutic and I can only imagine what a sustained coaching engagement could yield.
He listens like a therapist and offered compassionate advice that immediately regulated my nervous system toward the beginning of the course, which also coincided with the start of the Israel/Gaza war. His words reassured me I was in the right place, with gentle motivation to keep going.
What a great perspective on short-term vs long-term coaching. And this really informs us of your coaching philosophy too, which I'm sure a great deal of people resonate with.
Rik, this is such an eye opener for someone like me still opening my eyes and understanding what coaching means and how it all works. And because there are no fixed boundaries to what coach does, I agree the outcomes on mentee are intangible .
For me, key takeaway is this. And I agree, it takes time,
"Additionally the coaching attitude is best suited to moving beyond the superficial ‘issue of the day’ and finding out what’s going on underneath. Over time deeper themes will reveal themselves and working on those is where things really start to become life-changing."
Great essay Rik! One of your stronger pieces to date and that's saying a lot. Despite how difficult it is to define coaching, I'm happy I have an essay I can point to now when someone asks me for a definition. This covers it.
Rik, I thought of professional athletes, they don't get to a high level and then let go of their coaches. They keep them, and spend more time with them. Tiger Woods has had a coach his entire career. So did Jack Nicklaus. So did Michael Jordan.
In my experience, my coaching needs change through time, and working with a coach (I have for thirty years) they coach me on the transformations I'm out for, in front of me, and as I'm making/made progress, we re-orient ourselves toward the next area for growth.
Having said that, there is some wiring in me (for example, unworthiness, low self-esteem) that I've worked long and hard on changing/shifting and have taken considerable ground on, but at some base level, because it was formed early in life, those early life default patterns can sneak up on me, and operate in the background if I'm not acutely aware of when they show up.
My long term relationship with my coach, helps to keep me "on" for being aware of when it has snuck in, and may be "running the show" in my head, or at least influencing it. Their knowledge of me, their awareness of my awareness, their ability to ask key questions is invaluable and gets better and more effective over time.
Last, like you, my coach WILL not coach for the short term because, as you point out, by putting time constraints on the work, one will often work on symptoms rather than root causes. And working on the root causes is where the real growth takes place, and that, ahem, takes time. :)
Kudos to you for recognizing it and ensuring that the clients you work with are aligned with your philosophy. They are lucky to have you.
She is. You would both love each other. Galeleadership.com. She is moving her blog to Substack right now. I will send it to you when it is live and share yours with her.
Hey Rik, this was actually a very useful summary of definitions -
"Teachers provide their students with knowledge or skills, mentors share their accumulated insight and experience with their mentee, and consultants advise their clients and solve specific problems"
As someone who operates in the realm of helping others I've always had confusion about how to describe my form of help, and even with the above, still do.
But there is one category missing from the list, which is therapist. And in many ways the way you describe your coaching approach it sounds akin to therapy, or a therapeutic modality. Curious about your thoughts on this.
I do think that the best therapists are the ones that are familiar with coaching, and the best coaches are the ones familiar with therapy. There's a big overlap, but there's also a big part of therapy that coaches aren't equipped for. A modality such as IFS though, is one that is made for both.
Yes - Rik’s writing advice from a 5-min breakout session was incredibly therapeutic and I can only imagine what a sustained coaching engagement could yield.
He listens like a therapist and offered compassionate advice that immediately regulated my nervous system toward the beginning of the course, which also coincided with the start of the Israel/Gaza war. His words reassured me I was in the right place, with gentle motivation to keep going.
Thank you, Rik (and Rick!)
What a great perspective on short-term vs long-term coaching. And this really informs us of your coaching philosophy too, which I'm sure a great deal of people resonate with.
Rik, this is such an eye opener for someone like me still opening my eyes and understanding what coaching means and how it all works. And because there are no fixed boundaries to what coach does, I agree the outcomes on mentee are intangible .
For me, key takeaway is this. And I agree, it takes time,
"Additionally the coaching attitude is best suited to moving beyond the superficial ‘issue of the day’ and finding out what’s going on underneath. Over time deeper themes will reveal themselves and working on those is where things really start to become life-changing."
Great essay Rik! One of your stronger pieces to date and that's saying a lot. Despite how difficult it is to define coaching, I'm happy I have an essay I can point to now when someone asks me for a definition. This covers it.
Rik, I thought of professional athletes, they don't get to a high level and then let go of their coaches. They keep them, and spend more time with them. Tiger Woods has had a coach his entire career. So did Jack Nicklaus. So did Michael Jordan.
In my experience, my coaching needs change through time, and working with a coach (I have for thirty years) they coach me on the transformations I'm out for, in front of me, and as I'm making/made progress, we re-orient ourselves toward the next area for growth.
Having said that, there is some wiring in me (for example, unworthiness, low self-esteem) that I've worked long and hard on changing/shifting and have taken considerable ground on, but at some base level, because it was formed early in life, those early life default patterns can sneak up on me, and operate in the background if I'm not acutely aware of when they show up.
My long term relationship with my coach, helps to keep me "on" for being aware of when it has snuck in, and may be "running the show" in my head, or at least influencing it. Their knowledge of me, their awareness of my awareness, their ability to ask key questions is invaluable and gets better and more effective over time.
Last, like you, my coach WILL not coach for the short term because, as you point out, by putting time constraints on the work, one will often work on symptoms rather than root causes. And working on the root causes is where the real growth takes place, and that, ahem, takes time. :)
Kudos to you for recognizing it and ensuring that the clients you work with are aligned with your philosophy. They are lucky to have you.
Thanks for your detailed perspective on, and experience with coaching James. Your coach sounds like one I would get along with ;)
She is. You would both love each other. Galeleadership.com. She is moving her blog to Substack right now. I will send it to you when it is live and share yours with her.
Thank you James!