Credibility inspires

How self-development fosters growth in others

I used to be plagued by 'chronic' conditions.

Turns out there was nothing permanent about them and uncovering their root causes led me down an unlikely path of self-development.

I wasn't born with a natural passion for personal growth, nor was I raised in a family that emphasized it.

But when ongoing health challenges finally prompted me to research the impact of food and lifestyle on my conditions, I discovered that I could drastically improve my so-called ‘chronic’ issues by making different choices.

This led me to dive more deeply into the worlds of self-help, self-development, and self-actualization—basically anything with 'self' in it.

Apart from discovering better physical health, these pursuits brought about noticeable progress in other areas too such as mental health, professional success, and personal relationships.

It wasn't long before people noticed and began asking me questions about what I was doing. I was only too happy to tell them and that's how I fell into the world of coaching.

Training to become a coach naturally flowed out of people being interested in my experience.

Accidental discoveries

Once I began to look into coaching seriously, I was hit with two big surprises.

The first surprise was that my perception of coaching (giving advice and bestowing my valuable experience onto others) was literally the opposite of what coaching truly entails.

Even going into my training, I thought that coaching was all about sharing expertise, giving advice, and fixing other people’s lives. I was planning to serve people by pulling information from the rich well of my experience, knowledge, and supposed wisdom.

But during my training I saw the power of actual coaching skills in action. Both in mentor sessions and practicing with my own practice-clients.

I learned that pulling the wisdom from my clients was the name of the game.

The second surprise came when I began to notice that my newfound skills had spilled over to my personal and professional life outside of my coaching practice. I didn't realize coaching skills could make you a better partner, colleague, and friend.

Without deliberately trying to, I went from someone without a lot of friends and who was pretty intellectually lonely, to having plenty of real, deep, and soul-satisfying friendships.

I suddenly found myself in communities full of like-minded people who were, perhaps not by coincidence, all self-improvers too.

Real recognizes real

“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in or open to your feedback.” — Brene Brown

Hands down the best way I found to self-develop is through cohort-based courses. These are practical, community-based programs founded on live sessions and full immersion.

Participating in these courses I’ve seen and met tons of students that are professional coaches.

And it’s no surprise to me.

Good coaches are (or should be) natural self-developers.

If I don’t show up for my own growth, how can I ask my clients to commit to theirs? In fact, one of the coach’s principal roles is to exemplify this growth mindset.

It’s very difficult (if not impossible) to inspire someone else to be better if you yourself don't want to be better, or worse, if you believe you're incapable to be.

But whether you’re a coach or not, if you aim to attract others and build meaningful connections, it’s also one of your principal roles.

If you can naturally inspire growth in others by embracing your own self-development, you will become instantly more valuable to them.

Walk the walk

Effective coaches know that people can change because they’ve experienced change themselves. This conviction is a powerful driver that organically spurs their clients to follow suit. Oftentimes what a client needs most is someone credible to believe in them.

I've had various coaches over the years, and they all shared this characteristic: they were all committed to their own development and continuously seeking new ways to grow, just as I was.

I would actually deeply distrust a coach who hasn’t experienced profound transformations themselves, in the same way that I would distrust a financial advisor who is struggling with debt.

And this doesn’t only go for coaches.

If you want the people in your life to take you seriously, and to see you as their go-to person for support, encouragement, and collaboration, the same applies to you.

You are a role model whether you like it or not. The way you make decisions, navigate challenges, and whether or not you pursue continuous growth influences those around you and shapes their perceptions of what is possible.

Whether you consider yourself a coach or not, the process of attracting people and being seen as a valuable resource is the same.