8 Comments

Big fan of the finished product, Rik. It flows smoothly from point to point. Like how silence (not rescuing others) can empower people (since they need to find the solution themselves they gain confidence). Excellent. Should be required reading for any teacher or coach out there.

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“Your genuine curiosity is the navigation here. The rest is practice.” Such a good line. I’ve also found that taking a genuine interest in someone through powerful questions is one of the fastest ways to form a bond and seed a friendship. Great stuff here Rik!

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Yes! Your relationships will improve markedly. Who doesn't like other people who are curious about them.

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Questions that "affirm autonomy." I LOVE that. Such a evocative description and tangible benefit of asking good questions. Ok, I'm going to practice right here, because I've actually had this question lurking in my mind as I read your articles. "Where is it that you want to take me if I keep reading your work over time? How will I benefit? And how can I help you in return?"

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Wow, that's an excellent question Rick ;) I've had to think about it and still am. I'm not sure, but I guess I'd like to see listening skills being taught as regularly as math and reading. I think it should be standard curriculum for every human and I hope to contribute to that becoming a fact. The benefit for you or others would come from implementation I would say, finding out what your own relationship to this topic is and checking if you can and would like to improve. Engaging in conversation about it (which you're doing) and asking these types of questions is all the 'help' I would currently ask for.

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The answer to whether I can or would like to improve my listening is a big yes. I think I have had an affinity with the message for a long time, and have even imagined that I practice it already, but the articles you have shared on the subject have shown me there is ample room for improvement—and in some cases, that I haven't really been listening near as effectively as I thought. I'd say this is most evident in my role as a parent, which when you get to the teenage years is an entire world of challenge all in itself. But I love the way you're representing your vision here, that listening skills should become part of the standard curriculum for humans. I'm inspired by that thought and look forward to seeing how you go about contributing to that vision.

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I do have a soft spot for parents in this regard and I'm thinking about addressing that group separately somehow. I have a lot of room for improvement myself as well, as you mention, practice is key and life long.

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What a wonderful niche to serve. I think there would be many many grateful recipients of such support for parents.

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