Excellent Rik. "When I feel that a noise is ‘inconsiderate’, ‘unnecessary’, or ‘respectless’, I’m instantly outraged." I've had this exact response for a long time and only in the last part of my life have I started to explore the reactivity with a bit of the curiosity you describe. We bought a house out in the country in Arizona that unbeknownst to me turned out to be directly under the flight path of a practice loop for student pilots flying single-engine aircraft at low altitude. I'd canvas neighbors looking for support for my indignation. To my dismay everyone else barely noticed it. I tried to roll with it, but couldn't make the leap and we moved. Then my kid decided he wanted to be a drummer. Needless to say I have plenty of opportunity to practice compassionate listening to the outside world and the (even louder) music of my inner trauma.
Haha, that's such a good example and so illustrative that your neighbor really didn't care. Hope the drumming practice payed off and your kid is now a pro (easier on the ears I'm sure).
Enjoyed this perspective, Rik. Reminds me of a Stoic's mindset - we can't control events, but we can control our reactions to events. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" - Shakespeare. You then drill one level deeper (peel back the onion) by saying in order to control our reactions we need to make sure we have made peace with/ listened to the parts of ourselves that have experienced trauma. Brilliant take.
Excellent Rik. "When I feel that a noise is ‘inconsiderate’, ‘unnecessary’, or ‘respectless’, I’m instantly outraged." I've had this exact response for a long time and only in the last part of my life have I started to explore the reactivity with a bit of the curiosity you describe. We bought a house out in the country in Arizona that unbeknownst to me turned out to be directly under the flight path of a practice loop for student pilots flying single-engine aircraft at low altitude. I'd canvas neighbors looking for support for my indignation. To my dismay everyone else barely noticed it. I tried to roll with it, but couldn't make the leap and we moved. Then my kid decided he wanted to be a drummer. Needless to say I have plenty of opportunity to practice compassionate listening to the outside world and the (even louder) music of my inner trauma.
Haha, that's such a good example and so illustrative that your neighbor really didn't care. Hope the drumming practice payed off and your kid is now a pro (easier on the ears I'm sure).
Enjoyed this perspective, Rik. Reminds me of a Stoic's mindset - we can't control events, but we can control our reactions to events. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" - Shakespeare. You then drill one level deeper (peel back the onion) by saying in order to control our reactions we need to make sure we have made peace with/ listened to the parts of ourselves that have experienced trauma. Brilliant take.
If my writing reminds you of Shakespeare and the Stoics, what more can I ask for ;)
Beautiful writing and fantastic insight regarding our inner dialogue and opinions. Enjoyed it a lot Rik! ✌️
Thanks Mark, appreciate that :)