Opting out II

The thirty-sixth newsletter is about what we put in our mouths

Message received, I’m weird.

One of my friends had given me a water glass as a present for my birthday, because ‘you never drink anything other than water’. It was meant as a joke, and I actually really appreciated the gesture. But it was only partly a joke. I’m the odd one out of my friend group. I make choices that other people don't always understand. Like being very strict about what I put in my mouth.

Choosing health

Making conscious and radical decisions about what I eat and don’t eat has had a massive impact on my life. I basically went from not being able to function to thriving because of it.

In my case this meant moving towards an ancestral (or species appropriate) way of eating, taking into account what we were evolved to eat as humans. Coming from the standard American diet, this initially felt restrictive but ended up being surprisingly liberating.

There are still people who don’t (want to) believe that getting sick has anything to do with the lifestyle choices we make, and that it’s all just a giant genetic lottery. And sadly, there are still plenty of medical professionals that echo this belief.

Although pathologies exist that we could never fix with diet and our genes play a role in how we get sick, lifestyle and food determine to a large extent if we get sick.

Because of the differences in beliefs about health and diet, people who have experienced health improvements by changing their diet often feel unsupported in their efforts by their families, friends, or even their doctor. As did I.

On top of that we live in a society that rewards, normalizes, and encourages making unhealthy choices.

Food addiction

We live in a food-centric world. And we have been for quite a while.

Throughout history, food has transcended mere sustenance and has become a significant social act. Sharing a meal together is a symbol for human connection and there are many food-related religious references and practices for the same reason. Food is social.

This seems even more true today where the culture of food has found a counterpart on steroids in modern media. Cooking shows and competitions, bake-offs, and posting pictures of delicious dishes are commonplace.

This heightened emphasis on food, culinary experiences, and consumption in general seems to be a baseline of our cultural expression.

I think we have a broadly accepted, and therefore almost invisible, mainstream addiction in our society to food itself. Not to any specific type of food (like the usual suspects sugar, chocolate, cheese, coffee, alcohol etc), to food itself. To consumption. To snacking, grazing, and indulging, often under the guise of social gatherings.

Because sharing food has such a deep history of human connection we all tend to enable each other in this. Meeting a friend for a conversation translates into ‘let’s meet for a coffee’. We have dinner parties, cocktail parties, and food festivals. The social gathering becomes the excuse to eat and drink. To get our food fix.

I understand that sharing a meal amongst friends and ‘breaking bread together’ is important and enjoyable beyond the food itself, but what if you don’t eat bread anymore because you’re seeing some seriously negative effects on your health? 

Social sacrifice

I’m grateful for my symptoms. They clearly signaled to me that I needed to change something. Discovering the connection between food and health made it easy for me to change my diet.

Making a radical shift in what I put in my mouth has not only given me a way better quality of life, but it has also spurred a whole slew of other habits, realizations, and improvements that have exponentially increased my well-being, outlook, and peace of mind.

Historically, I’ve been what Gretchen Rubin would call an abstainer. For me, it’s easier to not do something at all than to moderate and indulge once in a while.

So I abstain. Not only from the food, but also from the food-related gatherings.

Changing my diet (and social life) so strictly, immediately made me ‘that guy’ within my social circle, and I never really recovered from that.

I now see food primarily as fuel, and building blocks for a healthy body and mind. I do recognize that food has a deeper meaning than just sustenance, but for me this is simply no longer number one.

I don’t miss the food, the pleasure, or the arousal of my tastebuds. What I do miss is the effortless connection, warmth, and communion that eating together brings.

Luckily I have friends that are cool with sharing a glass of water together.