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Another useful challenge of self-help popularism Rik. I wrote an article a while back saying that "act confident" was bad advice, for similar reasons. Confidence is earned over time by being willing to stumble vulnerably and perhaps nervously forward into the unknown, not by pretending that we already have it. If I understand what you're saying, we can't just be ourselves when we don't yet know ourselves, and a large part of knowing ourselves is having self awareness of that inner pulse of our aspirations, intentions, and aim. If your aim is be an exceptional conversation starter, it's working for me.

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Loved this unique perspective Rik. Great read!

"Aiming at the person you want to be is essential for personal growth," is such an important idea. I've thought a lot about "aiming up" both at a macro level, in terms of my direction in life, but also on a micro level, in the little decisions I make each day.

It's such a powerful idea to improve your internal self talk. Recently, I've been experimenting with literally talking out loud to myself in the 3rd person to try to reinforce positive beliefs.

Amazing essay Rik. Really enjoyed this :)

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