Potential needs work

Making it happen

‘You have so much potential’.

I must have heard this phrase a million times when I was growing up. All through my teens and well into my twenties. My parents, my teachers, and the culture as a whole seemed to echo this story. ‘You can be anything you want.’

Although this might sound very inspirational, it didn’t end up to be. Quite the opposite.

What sounded like an inevitable success story and an easy ride led to a lot of confusion, disillusion, and disappointment.

Not living up

On a fundamental level I agreed with the people telling me this. I too knew in my heart that I was capable of big things. Capable of more.

But I could also clearly (and painfully) see that I wasn’t currently demonstrating any of those things and every time this little sentence was uttered, it only reaffirmed the friction for me.

Of course I could see it. Of course I could see the discrepancy between my ‘potential’ and actually living up to it. 

Lugging around this backpack of potential became more and more challenging and instead of a positive prophecy it became a heavy load to bear. 

I was under the impression that, since I was so smart, talented, and full of potential, I was good to go. Things would be taken care of.

Instead of working on it, I was waiting.

Coasting

And to a degree, things did work out on their own.

I could coast on my intelligence most of high school, never needing to work hard at it and ‘getting through’ nonetheless. 

This reinforced the idea that I didn’t need to work even more. I really believed that things would work out by themselves because I had the power of my famed potential on my side.

After school though, leaving the safe and secure ‘training environment’, stepping into real life, I was suddenly faced with a lot of things I had no way of interpreting. I didn’t know how to work on them because I had never worked for anything.

Slowly it started to dawn on me that this ‘potential’ I possessed wasn’t so powerful after all, at least, not on its own. But what was the missing ingredient? I had no clue.

Waking up

The years after high school were mentally tough. I went through a phase of years not knowing who I was, where I stood, what I could or should do and it made me pretty miserable.

To find my way, it appeared I first needed to encounter some serious obstacles.

Looking back, I’m glad I got sick. It was the resulting health journey that catapulted me out of the waiting mindset.

It taught me the missing element: Action. Experiment. Doing things. Trying things. I learned that potential and talent are very nice but they are worthless without work.

I realized that I had wasted the first 20 or more years of my life. Waiting for life to happen, instead of making it happen.

The other half

It’s not easy to articulate a strong affirmation, even for trained coaches, and I can totally see that pointing out my potential was meant well.

People do have potential. They do have the capability to do things they set their minds to. But the ‘setting their minds to it’ piece is not optional. Talent only means nothing, you still need to do the work. 

Whenever I was informed about my potential, the other half of the message (potential needs work) was never mentioned. They forgot to tell me about the ‘99% perspiration’ part of the equation.

Instead of painting the picture of someone who works on their dreams, and actively brings their potential to life, it felt like there was no work required. ‘Relax, sit back, things will be fine.’

A tiny addition to the sentence would have made a huge difference. ‘You have so much potential and can be anything you want. It takes work though and it’s up to you to make it happen.’

We all have inherent strengths that we can put to good use (our potential). Acknowledging those strengths is important but it’s only half the battle, the other half is ‘putting them to good use’ (doing the work). And they should always be part of the same sentence.